SELF-MOTIVATION AND MONTESSORI AND THE HOME

One of the greatest rewards of Montessori for me as a teacher has been standing back from all the activity of the classroom and observing your children at work. As you know, Mrs. Miller and I record our observations and pass them on to you, the parent, so you can get a glimpse of what your child does while in the Montessori environment. After all, they have free choice among the many materials, and watching which ones they are drawn to, what they do with them, and who they play with is something you don't see, so I try to bring you a written picture of his or her life away from you.

If you believe in Montessori education, then you believe that each child has within them the gift of what they will become; they are not an empty vessel that the adult fills with what we believe he/she needs. Our job as adults is to watch the child to see what he/she is interested in, and to pursue that interest, so that the child develops to his/her fullest. Montessori said that we watch from the periphery-the outside of the child-since we do not know what is on the inside of the child. THIS IS THE HARDEST JOB OF THE ADULT-TO WAIT PATIENTLY, offering activities and waiting to see if it lights a fire within the child. When a spark ignites, you go with it! This is what happens with reading in the classroom, or math or building with sensorial materials--all of a sudden a child wants more and more of it and I "feed" that yearning as much as I can.

My trainer, Don Czerzinskyj, said that when we observe a child standing near a material looking at it, it meant we had a potential client, a customer! The child is motivated from within-he/she is drawn to materials they want to work with, and our job, according to Maria Montessori, is to "light the fire and then be on our way." We show them the material at a level they can accept it (if the Golden Beads are beyond their development, for instance, I present it in a sensorial manner). As soon as we see the child has got the "hang" of the material--can build it/do it as presented--we back away to allow for exploration and observe to see where, if any, the problems are. We are sure to repeat the presentation in the next day or two and slow down at that very point of the problem, if any.

Teaching in this way is another aspect of Montessori that I love. It keeps the child's self-concept intact and only gives them enough information to allow for the child to make the discoveries; I do not "give the answers" away. Furthermore, I have strengthened the relationship between the child and me--the materials are the vehicle for doing that. Without this relationship, the child will not open his/herself to learning from me.

Now let's transfer this whole idea to the home and you and your child.

When your child doesn't do something the way you want them to, how do you respond? Do you react by yelling or demeaning the child? Did you SHOW the child what to do before he/she did it? Did you "fix it" the way you wanted it before or after the child left? The children set our tables for the preschoolers every day and, I have to admit, it looks as though a storm blew in sometimes! I sit on my hands until they leave and THEN fix it.

Do you tell the answers to everything, or do you just start something and, when you see the child "gets it," back away and watch the beauty of within unfold before your eyes? You have your children at a time when the home is the place is make mistakes. You also can develop the precious relationship between them and you by showing them the world--taking them to museums, zoos, aquariums, parks, outdoors, gardening with them, to festivals, cultural events--all the keys to the universe are at your fingertips to show them and watch to see what interests them. Then GO WITH IT-develop the relationship by interacting with them. Then when they are older, you will fall beck on that relationship when they have hard questions to ponder and don't know where to turn.

A person is motivated to do something if he/she is confident there will be no put-downs, is allowed to explore AND MAKE MISTAKES, and the product of their work is not revised in their presence/put down/or even overly acclaimed.


If you truly believe in Montessori education, extend the ideas into your home. Even if you can't get your spouse to change, by demonstrating the tenets above, your own modeling will help him/her see the difference in how a child responds to you. Just like in the classroom, the way the teacher responds/carries herself/relates to others, is the model of how we want others to be toward us. When we give respect, we get respect.